Stop ignoring your surroundings, kid, don't you see how pretty everything is?

When the sky really does come crashing down.

It's so cold.

Pieces of my life #1

Okay, so I thought I'd start writing a little bit about my life. Only little pieces in different posts, which are coming up whenever I feel like it.

I was born 06.07.1993, meaning my 18th birthday is finally coming up this summer! 6 and 7 has for obvious reasons always been my lucky numbers, but so has 9 and 2, 9 has no certain reason, but 2 is because I'm lame enough to think of love. You do the math.

I have three brothers and one sister. They are all older than me, the youngest being 25. I have never actually had any serious arguments with any of them, and I think I'm lucky. At some point I wanted younger siblings, but I've come to realize that it's a lot more fun to be the youngest.

Now mentioning where I was born, which happens to be Sweden. I won't tell what city, but close to the capital, Stockholm, anyway. I was bullied in my younger age, and being as sensitive as I am, it really left deep wounds in me, but they eventually healed. I had good friends back then, unfortunately I haven't been in touch with them too actively. I remember hating my entire class back then, and waking up to go to school each morning was really hard.

When I was 12 and finally got out of 6th grade, we moved to my mother's hometown Ivalo, Finland. Both my parents are Finnish, and they both moved to Sweden at some point due to their jobs.

Two of my brothers stayed there, and one already lived in Finland. He's the oldest one, and practically the one who I'm the closest with, he lives in Oulu, which is only 80km away from my current location.

My sister lives in Tenerife, Spain. I haven't seen her in a long time due to this, but hopefully I will go visit her some time soon. I look up to her as she has great language skills, and I hope to one day speak as many languages fluently as she does.

So how could've it been for a 12-year-old self-esteem lacking kid to move to an entire new country? A lot better than I thought it would. I had been to Ivalo quite many times during the summer holidays, to visit relatives and such.

I had two friends in my class to begin with, and I knew them from before, so it wasn't such a big deal to go to a new school. I hated the class I was in up 'till 9th grade, and I'm actually happy I got rid of them. In a small town like Ivalo, there's a whole bunch of jerks. I could say 90% of them are self-centered bitches, and I'm glad I don't live there at the moment.

Yeah, I've moved away. I study Traveling & Tourism in a school 600km away in a place called Pudasjärvi. Same kinds of losers here, too, but I'm quite happy. I live at the school dormitory, sharing my room with my best friend, V.

That's about it for this time, just a brief introduction. I will go through friends, family etc. in different posts.

Stay tuned!

Secret #4

I hate and love myself. Mostly love, everyone should love themselves. You can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself first.

Bleh.

I feel so weird. I better go to bed and maybe travel back in time where things were ok.

Oh, how I wonder how it feels.

Words I thought I could never speak.

And now, happier than I have been in a very, very long time, I'm off to sleep. Good night, world, thanks for being AWESOME.

Secret #3

I'm happy♥

Drowning in you.

I wish you were water. I could just turn on the tap and you'd be here. You'd cover 70% of the planet, you'd practically be anywhere I'd go. You'd even pour down from the sky sometimes.

But if you were water, you'd only slip through my fingers.

Fluttering like butterflies searching for a drink.

Where is the person I once knew?

Come on show them what you're worth.

I'm back!

The trip was great, and luckily I didn't even spend as much money as I thought I would. I bought a WWF Panda coffee cup, a red t-shirt with white prints, a sleeveless gray cardigan, a snake ring, a best friends -necklace for me and V, three scarfs (yeah, I know. I'm a disaster); one with different shades of green and blue, a red one♥ and also a scarf shaped as a pencil. Yeah. I bought it 'cause 1) It was cool! D8<>

I can't really recall if I bought anything else, I'll edit if I realize I did.

I basically had the best meal I have ever had this weekend. At least it felt like it. Perfect is not enough to cover it up. V and I had dinner @ Hai Long, which is definitely my favourite restaurant of all times. Everyone there are so nice and since I've been there so often, they even remember me, yay!

I'm freezing my ass off btw, it's so cold at our dorm it's not even funny. Hrrr.

Emotional outbursts at night.

Oh, my. It's been rough.

I feel so old, I've been tired around 6PM each night, gone to bed around 8PM, waking up at 4AM to realize I can't sleep any longer and then I stay up to turn the alarm clock off when it starts bitching about getting up.

Staring at the digits on the clock in the pitch-black darkness, sounds like lots of fun, doesn't it? I'm usually in a very emotional mood at that time of the night.

I cried last night. Silently so no one would hear, the digits got blurry, then I kept my eyes shut.

What's wrong? I may as well ask myself. I thought I was just fine. And I am. I know I am. I'm perfectly okay.

Friendship. Funny thing, huh? How thickheaded can I be to let myself take all the shit some put me through. I should never reach out a hand to help anyone who doesn't deserve it. This is what I get for being a good person. Yes, I am a good person at heart, might seem mean on the outside though. And I have my bad moments.

That wasn't about anyone in specific, or maybe it was. Not one, not two, maybe a dozen? Confusing? Yeah, kind of. I'm not pointing fingers, neither am I denying I'm secretly full of grudge.

Other than that, I'm off to Oulu w/V tomorrow, finally, and we're staying at my brother's place. My eyes are glued on the timetables. I don't feel like making any plans at all. It's boring and right now, frustrating even.

I feel so annoyed right now, I might as well leave it to this. Next update won't be until after the trip. Unless I become a ninja.

Shooting stars.

I've been busy with school. Well, not exactly busy, as we've been back in school for only one week, but busy enough to say I've been busy.

The weekend was over with way too fast, within a blink of an eye it was time to go to bed at Sunday night. V and I stayed at the dorm, only leaving the front door a couple of times. It's been ridiculously cold, V was crazy enough to go out in boxers. Wow.

I saw the worst horror movie ever this weekend. "House of blood". Wow, what a mistake. At least V and I got a great laugh- "Bad acting, I sense". Yeah, watch the trailer, it'll blow yer mind, man.

We watched the entire first season of Desperate Housewives, 'cept for the last episode since the DVD decided to be all boogie boogie hedgehog, boogie boogie hedgehog, got his head stuck in a toiletpaper tube. Nice.

We're trying to get through Lego Star Wars 100%, not going as well as it could, maybe we're just really lazy?

Walking to school today was absolutely horrible. It's snowing like mad, V and I practically drowned. And it's still snowing. Meh, here it stars. Every single year, right after New year's, I start bitching about the snow and repeating myself by saying "I wish it was summer already". Yeaah. Have fun listening to that.

When did I get more readers? o__O Oh well, thank you very much, lovlies♥

We get out of school earlier today, and luckily these new girls in our class promised to drop us at the dorm, as they're practically our neighbours.

Oh! We've only got 4 days of school this week, V and I are heading to Oulu on Thursday. And if I don't get to eat at Hai Long, someone will die.

We're staying at my brother's place the entire weekend. I have to call him tonight and ask him if there's as much snow as here, just to be sure I won't drown.

I'll start spreading out random facts in nearly every post, just for the fun of it. Knowing me, I might not be able to stay on one per day, but oh well. Random facts are nice, right? :P

Secret #1
I always wash my hands with cold water, 'cept if they've frozen solid outdoors.

Secret #2
My natural hair colour is blonde, brown suits me better though, yet I've recently dyed it back to blonde. I like it right now, let's see how long it'll take for me to change my mind again.

What's the problem, baby?

Something pretty♥

Suddenly I catch myself, going through those times we shared.

Replay, replay, replay.

Over and over and over again.

It never stops. Is it the world, or am I the one spinning around?

Words that were meant to be unspoken...

Once again, you crawled underneath my skin, tore it open and let me breathe again. Lots of uneasily spoken words, trembling and courage issues, and the pretty things flew right out.

Memories close in mind. Close at heart. That tree we passed each time, I still remember.

"I will remember this tree, we pass it everyday. From now on when I see this tree, I'll remember this time, these days, these wonderful moments"

Why do I think of that tree, all of a sudden? Why do these memories, like photographs, flutter around, wildly inside my head? When did it start? When does it end?

Feelings coming back to me, like the boomerang that got lost in the wind. It's back, it's here, it's now.

What to do, tangle onto the words you spoke, or the ones you yet left unspoken? Temporarily clueless, beyond oblivious.

Now, I just miss you.

Where are they now?

Today, I got back from V's house, I stayed for longer than I was supposed to at first, but we had fun!

We watched a few horror movies, finally we got to it and watched Ps. I love you, and I must say, it really is worth the watch. I must get it on DVD, it was so cute ;__; ♥

I also began playing Pokemon emerald, and to step out of the pretty box, I'm trying not to end up with the same party pokemon as last time...

Which is why I chose Torchic as a starter, which is weird... but I'll survive. (Yes, I also chose Torchic so I can eventually transfer it to Soulsilver, as I already have the two other Hoenn starters on it, hehe)

I promise myself not to start training Tailow, 'cause he'd end up in my party which would suck XD but I did catch one, I named him Sam. I think.

I'm thinking Skarmory for my flying part (I have my needs, you know!), liking the fact he's also steel type, yay!

Nanananinaaa~ *insert random hime trance here*

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Yes.

Don't really have much more to say, I'm leaving winter wonderland tomorrow, going back to the dorm. School starts on Monday!

See ya!

Saved!

First I was like

RAAAAAAAAAGEEE FUCK FUCK FUCK NOOOOO MY LIFE IS OVER NOOOOOOOO *jumps off a cliff*

but then I was like

YAY! *happy dance*

It's a curse.

It really is. I have a weird desire to keep making new headers! I'll actually try to keep this one, as it's not as simple and clean as the others. (Which eventually will end up being a bad thing, as I like it simple and clean. le sigh.)

My neck has been killing me all day, and now it's heading down my spine. Am I going to die?

Today was weird, I haven't gone outside my bedroom at all, only when necessary. I'm hungry, as I haven't eaten anything, yet I doubt I will stuff myself right before I go to bed.

Yes, it is 8:47AM and I am indeed going to bed in the matter of minutes. It's still pitch-black outside, can't see a thing through my window. Luckily, I say. Rather sleep in the dark.

I might as well go ahead and say that

• I'm leaving winter wonderland on the 8th
• For those who actually wants to see me before I leave, call me (or text me, w/e floats your boat, honey)
• I'm saving a couple of days during next week to spend with V. Yes, even though we are roommates at the dorm
• Obviously the first to claim a day with me gets it, others may cry and eventually die lonely
• Yes, I do in fact know that I'll probably end up spending my last days at home just like I am right now- Miserably locked inside my bedroom, telling the world to fuck off and not get my sexy ass out of bed until I actually have to leave.

Beautiful.

There you have it, your last chance to see me until... next holiday, unless I decide to spend it with M2, meaning I will go visit my brother. Screw you guys, if you don't want to see me now, I might as well do that as revenge. Yes, I am this sick of being alone right now. It SUCKS.

If you need me, I'll be buried somewhere deep within the sheets, my phone is on (I think... I hope. Wait, where is my phone?) if your house is on fire or if you're dying, don't call. Only call if you want to see me. (= Prince C has no missed calls & no new messages).

Good night!

Katy Perry - Firework

Oh, me? I'm a lot better, thanks for asking.

I decided to be more positive, so even if I didn't really see any fireworks yesterday, due to some unfortunate events, I thought of the fireworks I saw at the Christmas party vol.2 as my new year fireworks. They were really random, and we watched them as we were standing on the frozen river downtown. Now I officially announce them to be mine, just to be fair.

See it, know it, like it, love it, hate it, kill it.

Happy new year!

AHAHAHAHA I can't believe how happy I am right now :D. More of this, please. C'mon! BRING IT ON D<

Have a fucking brilliant new year's eve, goodnight.