Emotional outbursts at night.

Oh, my. It's been rough.

I feel so old, I've been tired around 6PM each night, gone to bed around 8PM, waking up at 4AM to realize I can't sleep any longer and then I stay up to turn the alarm clock off when it starts bitching about getting up.

Staring at the digits on the clock in the pitch-black darkness, sounds like lots of fun, doesn't it? I'm usually in a very emotional mood at that time of the night.

I cried last night. Silently so no one would hear, the digits got blurry, then I kept my eyes shut.

What's wrong? I may as well ask myself. I thought I was just fine. And I am. I know I am. I'm perfectly okay.

Friendship. Funny thing, huh? How thickheaded can I be to let myself take all the shit some put me through. I should never reach out a hand to help anyone who doesn't deserve it. This is what I get for being a good person. Yes, I am a good person at heart, might seem mean on the outside though. And I have my bad moments.

That wasn't about anyone in specific, or maybe it was. Not one, not two, maybe a dozen? Confusing? Yeah, kind of. I'm not pointing fingers, neither am I denying I'm secretly full of grudge.

Other than that, I'm off to Oulu w/V tomorrow, finally, and we're staying at my brother's place. My eyes are glued on the timetables. I don't feel like making any plans at all. It's boring and right now, frustrating even.

I feel so annoyed right now, I might as well leave it to this. Next update won't be until after the trip. Unless I become a ninja.