LUCIFER.

Eheh, long time no see ><

Well, I'm back! And my dear beloved friend B bought me Pokemon black, and according to the game, I've been playing 42, almost 43h. Yeaaah, I've been busy alright. Krhm.

V and I will be going downtown soon, the bus leaves at 6:50PM and we'll come back... whenever we want and whenever we'll call a taxi. Fuck yeah.

I'm going to buy stuff for L and C, I was going to yesterday, but the bookshop was closed. Hopefully it's open today. It better be. I'll be sending my lovelies the package whenever I feel like I've bought them enough stuff.

I want to buy flowers :'D then I'll keep them alive until the summer, yay! V must get some, too, I'm in such a spring mood it's not even real.

Alive and well.

Yeah, I haven't been online in quite a while. As you can see, I'm not dead or anything. I'm perfectly fine and I'm happy again.

I'll be all alone at the dorm for the entire weekend, as everyone else is heading home, including V. This calls for loud music, books, exercise, movies, pokemon and best of all;

Stop ignoring your surroundings, kid, don't you see how pretty everything is?

When the sky really does come crashing down.

It's so cold.

Pieces of my life #1

Okay, so I thought I'd start writing a little bit about my life. Only little pieces in different posts, which are coming up whenever I feel like it.

I was born 06.07.1993, meaning my 18th birthday is finally coming up this summer! 6 and 7 has for obvious reasons always been my lucky numbers, but so has 9 and 2, 9 has no certain reason, but 2 is because I'm lame enough to think of love. You do the math.

I have three brothers and one sister. They are all older than me, the youngest being 25. I have never actually had any serious arguments with any of them, and I think I'm lucky. At some point I wanted younger siblings, but I've come to realize that it's a lot more fun to be the youngest.

Now mentioning where I was born, which happens to be Sweden. I won't tell what city, but close to the capital, Stockholm, anyway. I was bullied in my younger age, and being as sensitive as I am, it really left deep wounds in me, but they eventually healed. I had good friends back then, unfortunately I haven't been in touch with them too actively. I remember hating my entire class back then, and waking up to go to school each morning was really hard.

When I was 12 and finally got out of 6th grade, we moved to my mother's hometown Ivalo, Finland. Both my parents are Finnish, and they both moved to Sweden at some point due to their jobs.

Two of my brothers stayed there, and one already lived in Finland. He's the oldest one, and practically the one who I'm the closest with, he lives in Oulu, which is only 80km away from my current location.

My sister lives in Tenerife, Spain. I haven't seen her in a long time due to this, but hopefully I will go visit her some time soon. I look up to her as she has great language skills, and I hope to one day speak as many languages fluently as she does.

So how could've it been for a 12-year-old self-esteem lacking kid to move to an entire new country? A lot better than I thought it would. I had been to Ivalo quite many times during the summer holidays, to visit relatives and such.

I had two friends in my class to begin with, and I knew them from before, so it wasn't such a big deal to go to a new school. I hated the class I was in up 'till 9th grade, and I'm actually happy I got rid of them. In a small town like Ivalo, there's a whole bunch of jerks. I could say 90% of them are self-centered bitches, and I'm glad I don't live there at the moment.

Yeah, I've moved away. I study Traveling & Tourism in a school 600km away in a place called Pudasjärvi. Same kinds of losers here, too, but I'm quite happy. I live at the school dormitory, sharing my room with my best friend, V.

That's about it for this time, just a brief introduction. I will go through friends, family etc. in different posts.

Stay tuned!

Secret #4

I hate and love myself. Mostly love, everyone should love themselves. You can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself first.

Bleh.

I feel so weird. I better go to bed and maybe travel back in time where things were ok.

Words I thought I could never speak.

And now, happier than I have been in a very, very long time, I'm off to sleep. Good night, world, thanks for being AWESOME.

Secret #3

I'm happy♥

Drowning in you.

I wish you were water. I could just turn on the tap and you'd be here. You'd cover 70% of the planet, you'd practically be anywhere I'd go. You'd even pour down from the sky sometimes.

But if you were water, you'd only slip through my fingers.

Fluttering like butterflies searching for a drink.

Where is the person I once knew?

Come on show them what you're worth.

I'm back!

The trip was great, and luckily I didn't even spend as much money as I thought I would. I bought a WWF Panda coffee cup, a red t-shirt with white prints, a sleeveless gray cardigan, a snake ring, a best friends -necklace for me and V, three scarfs (yeah, I know. I'm a disaster); one with different shades of green and blue, a red one♥ and also a scarf shaped as a pencil. Yeah. I bought it 'cause 1) It was cool! D8<>

I can't really recall if I bought anything else, I'll edit if I realize I did.

I basically had the best meal I have ever had this weekend. At least it felt like it. Perfect is not enough to cover it up. V and I had dinner @ Hai Long, which is definitely my favourite restaurant of all times. Everyone there are so nice and since I've been there so often, they even remember me, yay!

I'm freezing my ass off btw, it's so cold at our dorm it's not even funny. Hrrr.

Emotional outbursts at night.

Oh, my. It's been rough.

I feel so old, I've been tired around 6PM each night, gone to bed around 8PM, waking up at 4AM to realize I can't sleep any longer and then I stay up to turn the alarm clock off when it starts bitching about getting up.

Staring at the digits on the clock in the pitch-black darkness, sounds like lots of fun, doesn't it? I'm usually in a very emotional mood at that time of the night.

I cried last night. Silently so no one would hear, the digits got blurry, then I kept my eyes shut.

What's wrong? I may as well ask myself. I thought I was just fine. And I am. I know I am. I'm perfectly okay.

Friendship. Funny thing, huh? How thickheaded can I be to let myself take all the shit some put me through. I should never reach out a hand to help anyone who doesn't deserve it. This is what I get for being a good person. Yes, I am a good person at heart, might seem mean on the outside though. And I have my bad moments.

That wasn't about anyone in specific, or maybe it was. Not one, not two, maybe a dozen? Confusing? Yeah, kind of. I'm not pointing fingers, neither am I denying I'm secretly full of grudge.

Other than that, I'm off to Oulu w/V tomorrow, finally, and we're staying at my brother's place. My eyes are glued on the timetables. I don't feel like making any plans at all. It's boring and right now, frustrating even.

I feel so annoyed right now, I might as well leave it to this. Next update won't be until after the trip. Unless I become a ninja.

Shooting stars.

I've been busy with school. Well, not exactly busy, as we've been back in school for only one week, but busy enough to say I've been busy.

The weekend was over with way too fast, within a blink of an eye it was time to go to bed at Sunday night. V and I stayed at the dorm, only leaving the front door a couple of times. It's been ridiculously cold, V was crazy enough to go out in boxers. Wow.

I saw the worst horror movie ever this weekend. "House of blood". Wow, what a mistake. At least V and I got a great laugh- "Bad acting, I sense". Yeah, watch the trailer, it'll blow yer mind, man.

We watched the entire first season of Desperate Housewives, 'cept for the last episode since the DVD decided to be all boogie boogie hedgehog, boogie boogie hedgehog, got his head stuck in a toiletpaper tube. Nice.

We're trying to get through Lego Star Wars 100%, not going as well as it could, maybe we're just really lazy?

Walking to school today was absolutely horrible. It's snowing like mad, V and I practically drowned. And it's still snowing. Meh, here it stars. Every single year, right after New year's, I start bitching about the snow and repeating myself by saying "I wish it was summer already". Yeaah. Have fun listening to that.

When did I get more readers? o__O Oh well, thank you very much, lovlies♥

We get out of school earlier today, and luckily these new girls in our class promised to drop us at the dorm, as they're practically our neighbours.

Oh! We've only got 4 days of school this week, V and I are heading to Oulu on Thursday. And if I don't get to eat at Hai Long, someone will die.

We're staying at my brother's place the entire weekend. I have to call him tonight and ask him if there's as much snow as here, just to be sure I won't drown.

I'll start spreading out random facts in nearly every post, just for the fun of it. Knowing me, I might not be able to stay on one per day, but oh well. Random facts are nice, right? :P

Secret #1
I always wash my hands with cold water, 'cept if they've frozen solid outdoors.

Secret #2
My natural hair colour is blonde, brown suits me better though, yet I've recently dyed it back to blonde. I like it right now, let's see how long it'll take for me to change my mind again.

What's the problem, baby?